I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
