My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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