Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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