Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
