I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize