so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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