I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
