The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
