my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
