I just saw a hot homeless man
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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