He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
