God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
