i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
