He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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