I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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