Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
