Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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