Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
