There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
