whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
