So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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