Buhtt sex?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
