i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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