Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
