I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
