I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
