I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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