Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
