my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
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