a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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