well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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