is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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