And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
