Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
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I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
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I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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