i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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