remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
