According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
