she kept yelling 'call me bella'
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize