I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
