So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
