Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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