after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
