No stitches, just platelets and will power
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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