My brain says no but my pants say off.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
