Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
