so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
