if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
