DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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