No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
