That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
