I'm gonna have a badass scar
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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