Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
