I only kidnapped one of them. chill
it hurts more in the daytime
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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