Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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