you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize