Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
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And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
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Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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