You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
