This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
