so explain again why im purple
no
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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