Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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