Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
