Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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