alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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