I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
