A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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